CANBERRA (Reuters) - A drunk driver just 100 yards from Australia's iconic giant monolith once known as Ayers Rock stopped police to ask the way to the 1,100-foot-high rock.What makes it even funnier is that Uluru is the only thing out there. All around it is nothing bit flat, flat, flat destert. And, there are no lakes. What is the boat for?
The headlights of the man's car were actually shining on Uluru, which has a 5.8-mile circumference, Northern Territory police said.
The 44-year-old man, whose car was also towing an aluminum boat, has been charged with drunk driving and unlicensed driving.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Really drunk Aussie driver
Saw this on the news today.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
40 Things You'd love to Say out Loud at Work
Ever have one of those days at work when you just want to stand up and scream? Here is some ammo. Thanks SAS Andrew for the material.
- I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.
- I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
- How about never? Is never good for you?
- I see you've set aside this special time to publicly humiliate yourself.
- I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
- Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
- I'm out of my mind at the moment, but feel free to leave a message.
- I don't work here - I'm a consultant.
- It sounds like English, but I don't understand a damn word you're saying.
- Ahhh. I see the stuff-up fairy has visited us again.
- I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
- I have plenty of talent and vision - I just don't give a damn.
- I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.
- I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
- Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
- The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
- Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
- What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
- I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
- It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of karma to burn off.
- Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
- And your cry-baby whiny assed opinion would be?
- Do I look like a f-ing people person to you?
- This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
- I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
- Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
- If I throw a stick, will you leave?
- Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
- Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
- Oh, I get it. Like humour. Only different.
- A cubicle is just a padded cell without the door.
- Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?
- Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
- Nice perfume, but must you marinate in it?
- Chaos, panic and disorder - my work here is finally done.
- How do I set a laser printer to stun.
- I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
- I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
- Wait a minute - I'm just trying to imagine you with a personality.
San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority - More Answers
"Yo" Maiwandi took the time to answer the remaining questions on my last post about this subject. Here is what he wrote. I've edited it slightly to make it more readable, but have not removed anything.
I do find information about other Stefan Erikssons. But not yours. I see there is a Stefen Eriksson who works at the Swedish embassy in Moscow. There are others who work for major universities and companies around the world.
Sorry bud.... it seems like his resume is complete fiction.
So there it is... the official story. The SGVTA is a good, honest, and free public service. The SGVTA was taken in by a criminal con artist, Eriksson. And then they were sunk by their own fictional public image as presented by their web site.
You gotta admit. It is one hell of a strange story.
The SGVTA Contraversy
This is one part of a series of posts about The San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority- Truth is stranger than fiction (03-Mar)
- More on the $1M Ferrari wreck in Malbu (18-Mar)
- The San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority Anti_Terrorism Unit (24-Mar)
- The San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority Rebuttle (27-Mar)
- San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority - More Answers (29-Mar)
Dear Ron,Thank you for taking the time to do this. You have shed light on most every question and concern I had. I truly appreciate it.
I want to reply one last time to your remaining questions, however, after this response I believe there will be nothing left to say, and therefore won't respond to any further questions.
As for the "police" website being overblown, I acknowledge the error. That site was put together by a well meaning volunteer who basically grabbed content from other sites, and discussed what we planned to do in the future, rather than what we were at the time. We've well acknowledged that error, said our mia culpas and are now ready to move on.I see that your website has been taken down. That is good because it was really misleading.
As for your suggestion that we amputate the police department. Whether you call it a "police department," "public safety division," "security department," "safety department" or "niceness services," all transit agencies are required to perform the functions I outlined in my original letter to you. Our board is currently reviewing the name to determine what would sit best with the public, but the functions performed by whatever we end up calling it are mandatory, so the final result will be mostly form over substance.Sorry. I was not clear. Yes, you do have the responsibility to assure that your equipment, drivers, and procedures, meet all laws and standards. But you gave the impression that your "police" department was there to police the public, not yourselves. Big difference there.
With regard to your question about what the camera monitoring system would do, I will only say that it was going to use existing CDMA technology in conjunction with compression technology that Mr. Eriksson developed for other governments to permit real time streaming of all the cameras on board each bus through one single CDMA connection.OK... onboard webcams transmitting through a cell phone. Nothing that hasn't been done already.
And yes, Mr. Eriksson was planning to equip this camera system with facial recognition technology, something he has worked on before. Buses provide a uniquely cooperative host for facial recognition because sample faces can be limited to nearly one at a time as passengers are scanned, as opposed to typical facial recognition applications that scan hundreds or thousands at a time within groups of people.Like I said before, the transport of the raw data to be processed is the easy part. That hard part is doing something with it.
You may believe that the system that Mr. Eriksson proposed to us is already available, but I submit that it would have in fact been revolutionary.As I said, taking pictures or videos and sending them over a cell phone is nothing magic. A working face recognition system that uses these images is mindblowing.
Simply running the name "Stefan Eriksson" on Google will provide you with a very impressive resume, including previous work for the British, Chinese and Russian governments.I'm looking. I don't see your Stefan Eriksson doing any such things. Links please! However, I do find links about how he was busted in 1993 for counterfeiting and was sentenced to 10 years in prison. I have read how he was known to be the leader of an organized crime group dubbed "The Uppsala Mafia". I have read the SEC reports for his company, Tiger Telematics Inc. Scary stuff. I read how he was forced to resign in 2005 when his past caught up with him. I've read how they were doing shady deals by paying contracts to other companies the executives owned. And they were paying family and friends large "consulting fees" and themselves lots of toys on the company dime.
I do find information about other Stefan Erikssons. But not yours. I see there is a Stefen Eriksson who works at the Swedish embassy in Moscow. There are others who work for major universities and companies around the world.
Sorry bud.... it seems like his resume is complete fiction.
To answer your question, no we never saw a "working" prototype of the system, but we had no doubt that Mr. Eriksson and his associates could have developed the system if he wanted. Whether he really intended to fulfill his commitments, or just wanted to misrepresent his true role with us is something we'll be wondering about for years to come.Like I told you before. I think you were being hoodwinked by a con artist. Eriksson seems to have a problem telling the truth.
All of the people involved with SGVTA have donated huge amounts of time and effort for a good cause. Sure we made mistakes, but I doubt any other small charity such as ours has ever been in the public eye and scrutinized as heavily as we were in this instance.unfortunately it only takes one bad apple to ruin the barrel.
Ron, if someone went through everything you've ever said or done, or spoke to anyone you've ever had an argument with, only to turn around and report it all as fact, I suspect you'd look a lot different than the person you really are. I wish that on no one.That is an exaggeration. I've only questioned the facts presented on your own web site and news articles.
Now, one last request. I've responded to every single question you've put to me, and I've accepted responsibility for those things I think we did wrong. How about you Ron? Your original posts make allegations that simply weren't true. You jumped to conclusions without the facts, and once I brought the facts to your attention, you shifted the debate to issues beyond the scope of what you originally wrote.Considering the strange facts that I had to work with, some that you claim are false. What conclusion was I suppose to come to?
Fact, SGVTA has never received ONE penny of taxpayer money, yet you have not apologized for saying we did without knowing the facts.Sorry. I was given the impression from the statement from Monrovia City Manager Scott Ochoa who said "We warned them that if the police agency operated with them in the city of Monrovia, it would jeopardize their [transit] agreement with us." That gave me the impression that the city was paying for the services. After all, it takes money to pay for the large police department that your web site claimed you had.
Fact, SGVTA has never purchased any weapons whatsoever, yet your original post certainly postulates that it might be our secret reason for creating the police department, yet you have not yet acknowledged that you were wrong.OK... but I wasn't thinking about you. I was thinking about Eriksson. I wouldn't put it past him to get weapons using your department's credentials.
You did finally try to separate us from Mr. Eriksson in an effort to demonstrate the difference. However, we freely acknowledge having accepted Mr. Eriksson offer to donate his time and efforts.I suppose you heard what happened to him today? He had his illegally registered Mercedes-Benz SLR impounded because it was reported stolen in the UK, and his wife was busted for driving it without a drivers license. Nothing seems right about this guy. Sorry you got messed up with him. He must be good if your natural BS detectors didn't go off.
There are other misconceptions that you conveyed in your original post, and I certainly understand your skepticism. I do believe that you at least owe us an apology for those areas where you misrepresented the truth, or offered speculation that served to hurt us more.OK. Fair nuff. I apologize for things that turned out not to be true. Thanks for the information.
I appreciate your intellectual analysis, but would at least like to see an apology for those things you said that simply weren't true.
Good luck to you in the future,Same to you. I hope you and the SGVTA can put these mistakes behind you.
Yosuf "Yo" Maiwandi
San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority
So there it is... the official story. The SGVTA is a good, honest, and free public service. The SGVTA was taken in by a criminal con artist, Eriksson. And then they were sunk by their own fictional public image as presented by their web site.
You gotta admit. It is one hell of a strange story.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Fatality Cover Up in Cyclone Larry!
It seems there were fatalities in last week's cyclone that slammed into Queensland in northeast Australia. Click here to see what happened!
Note: My apologies to non-Australia readers who don't understand this.
Note: My apologies to non-Australia readers who don't understand this.
Monday, March 27, 2006
The San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority Rebuttle
Sorry about the silence for a few days. I went out of town to visit friends out in the country. More about that later. I got back late last night and found an email from Yosuf "Yo" Maiwandi following up my post last week about the San Gabriel Valley Transit Authorityhttp://ron_larson.blogspot.com/2006/03/san-gabriel-valley-transit-authority_27.html
Yo's Side Of The Story
First, the email from Yosuf "Yo" Maiwandi. He is the man behind SGVTA, and he seems to feel that he is the one paying the price for Stefan Eriksson's actions after crashing a million dollar Ferrari in Malibu. It is quite long. I'll comment on the email later in the post.
Thank you for the email. I can certainly see how you feel that no good deed goes unpunished. It appears to me that you and your agency have been taken advantage of by a world-class con-artist, Stefan Eriksson. Think of this anology. He is a pool hustler and you walked into a pool hall with cash in your pockets bragging about how good you are. He saw a mark and milked it for all that it was worth. Your mistake? It was playing the game in the first place. You were in over your head and didn't know it.
You have explained how Eriksson got involved with the SGVTA, how he slipped past your screening procedures, and what duties he was commissioned with. You also explained why the SGVTA is allowed to have have a law enforcement arm, and the threats that you feel the SGVTA might face. You have explained the services that the SGVTA provides. You have explained how the SGVTA is funded and operates.
You have explained how Eriksson abused the powers he was granted and that the scope of this abuse was limited to only him.
But you have not explained the why the SGVTA made, what is at best egaggerated, or at worst lies, about what the SGVTA is on the website. If your website indicated what you hoped the SGVTA to become, there was nothing that I could see to indicate that. Did you not know about the web site and public image of the SGVTA that was being presented? Did Eriksson do that? Were you not involved in the production and distribution of public information for the agency?
Which came first? Eriksson and his promises? Or the fake public image and emphasis on terrorism?
The Reality Versus The Image
You have to admit, the emphasis in the public statements from your agency gave me and others the impression that the the SGVTA was far more interested in being a state of the art law-enforcement agency than anything else. Why does a small, free bus service for disabled persons need to lie about the size of the police department and the equipment it had? Why does it talk more about its security than the actual services it provides?
I would think that a web site about your agency would emphisis what your email states. It would have publised the fact that it was run on 100% percent donations and accepted no tax money or user fees. You would think that the contributers to the SGVTA would want public recognition of their generosity, such as Monrovia Tire's contribution. You would think that your web site would invite more merchant and private donations to continue to operate. But it didn't. It didn't say anything like that. Instead it talks about the extensive police department and anti-terrorism unit it has.
The bottom line is, the public face of the SGVTA didn't match the reality that you present here. So I'm still asking, why is that? Do you blame people for being spooked and not wanting anything to do with this anymore? Eriksson does not appear to be at to blame for those inconsistantcies. He was just the reason they came to the attention of people like me.
A Plea From a Client
I also found a long and heartfelt comment to the same post that I want to highlight. This anonymous poster is upset that my speculation about the reasons behind all of this is going to ruin a good thing.
Hey... it is my blog. I will ask all the questions I want. Sorry about your dad. But it doesn't excuse the abuse of power we have seen in this case.
You Can Still Salvage The SGVTA
From my perspective, the only way you can salvage your agency, and in fact make it stronger, is to publicly abandon the agency's police department and instead focus 100% of the agency on what benefits it brings to the citizens of the SGV. Just because you CAN create a police agency doesn't mean you have to. You started a good thing there. Don't blow it by clinging to the police department. That has tainted the rest of the agency and needs to amputated.
So for sake people who have come to rely on the SGVTA, such as the father of the comment poster, please do this. You can still come clean and make this work for you. You can use this to appeal to sponsors. But you have to have a squeeky clean image to do this.
Eriksson's Snake Oil
I want to take a moment to delve into the product that Eriksson was promising the SGVTA. To quote you "Mr. Eriksson offered to donate time and equipment to develop a real-time camera monitoring system utilizing CDMA technology designed specifically for SGVTA's fleet. Mr. Eriksson proposed using SGVTA buses to test what could have revolutionized transit security on SGVTA's relatively small transit system."
I've noticed that he didn't mention more about what Eriksson was promising. I've read in other places where the product was going to be real-time face recognition system, which is much, much more than a glorified video survelence system as indicated here.
The words "real-time camera monitoring system utilizing CDMA technology" is just another way of saying "cell-phone camera". There is nothing revolutionary about that. You can buy this technology at Circut City and Radio Shack now. The cell phone camera takes a picture and sends it to a user, just like any teenager can do.
Cabs already use systems like this. The have a digital video camera that take the photo of passengers. They might even already transmit the image to the dispatcher in case something terrible happens to the driver and cab.
But... face recognition technology. That would be revolutionary. The problem is, the state of the art of face recognition system is a long way from being reliable. And certainly not reliable as a real time application. It is usless to worry about the mobile client parts of such a system if it can't do the job with input given to it from a hard disk. Talk about putting the cart before the horse!
The skills and technology needed to program a video game are vastly different from the skills needed to program a system that can make sense of an image. To do that, you have to interpret an image that you have no control of the input variables. When you program the game, you have control over all variables and what image is presented on the screen. They are different s night and day.
So my question is... Did Eriksson ever demonstrate a working face recognition system that functioned at all, no matter the source of the input image?
The SGVTA Contraversy
This is one part of a series of posts about The San Gabriel Valley Transit AuthorityYo's Side Of The Story
First, the email from Yosuf "Yo" Maiwandi. He is the man behind SGVTA, and he seems to feel that he is the one paying the price for Stefan Eriksson's actions after crashing a million dollar Ferrari in Malibu. It is quite long. I'll comment on the email later in the post.
The San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority ("SGVTA") first held discussions with Stefan Eriksson in December of 2005. Mr. Eriksson offered to donate time and equipment to develop a real-time camera monitoring system utilizing CDMA technology designed specifically for SGVTA's fleet. Mr. Eriksson proposed using SGVTA buses to test what could have revolutionized transit security on SGVTA's relatively small transit system. SGVTA submitted a fingerprint background check for Mr. Eriksson through the State of California which disclosed no prior record. Mr. Eriksson ultimately was appointed as a civilian volunteer Deputy Commissioner for a specific task - that of developing the proposed monitoring system.What Is Still Missing
Transit carriers are required by law to perform certain regulatory enforcement functions, including personnel background investigations, medical examinations, random drug and alcohol testing, daily driver health fitness evaluations, administering field breathalyzer examinations (when appropriate), substance abuse recognition, monitoring driving records for drivers, traffic accident investigations, passenger and vehicle safety inspections and constant supervisory oversight. Local law enforcement cannot be expected to perform regulatory enforcement duties on behalf of transit carriers. Accordingly, California law grants transit carriers the right to maintain public safety and/or police units in order to ensure compliance with all public safety regulations. SGVTA lawfully formed a public safety department that has been properly recognized by all law enforcement credentialing agencies, although not yet certified by California's Commission on Peace Officer Standards and Training ("P.O.S.T.") in which participation is strictly voluntary. [1]
While SGVTA's small transit system has never been specifically targeted for any threat of terrorism, SGVTA believes that all transit carriers should fully embrace the terrorism preparedness recommendations set forth by the Departments of Transportation and Homeland Security. SGVTA's fleet is perfectly situated to facilitate discrete research and development of a camera system such as the one Mr. Eriksson proposed. Counter-terrorism experts have predicted that - as was the case in London, England -- our country's small communities, and their regional transit systems, may well be the next target of those who would do us harm. SGVTA is taking all steps within its means to ensure that its passengers and property remain safe and that SGVTA stands properly prepared for any and all disasters.
The subsequent crash of Mr. Eriksson's Ferrari, while unfortunate, was wholly unrelated to SGVTA, other than Mr. Eriksson's volunteer status at the time. SGVTA has investigated the publicized claim that unknown individuals displaying some sort of badge appeared at the crash scene purporting to be officials of "Homeland Security." SGVTA can account for all of its personnel at the time of the incident, is confident that no one, other than Mr. Eriksson was present from SGVTA, and is certain that no SGVTA badges were involved.
SGVTA has been in communication with the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department and the Department of Homeland Security, and will continue to cooperate fully in any investigation.
Notwithstanding reports to the contrary, SGVTA is and has been headquartered at 4115 East Live Oak Avenue in Arcadia since the end of last year. Homer's Automotive in Monrovia donates personnel, vehicle parts, service and labor, and terminal space to assist SGVTA to meet its mission. Assertions that SGVTA or its public safety department are run out of Homer's Automotive are incorrect.
About SGVTA
The San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority is an independent transit agency created to permit near seamless paratransit service throughout the many small cities that make up the San Gabriel Valley.
SGVTA's responsibilities include operating, maintaining and improving paratransit services. SGVTA also works in conjunction with transit operators in other cities and counties to provide intercity and inter-county paratransit service to major medical facilities in southern California, as well as exploring the potential for expanded service.
SGVTA's vision is to provide a transportation system that allows handicapped, disabled, elderly and needy passengers to go anywhere in the region easily and efficiently.
Ron, SGVTA has/had Memorandums of Understanding with two cities, Monrovia and the City of Sierra Madre. Those MOU's only provide for and understanding that SGVTA will provide FREE transportation, mostly intercity, for residents who don't have transportation to medical facilities outside their city of residence. We provide service to the entire San Gabriel Valley, which consists of more than 25 small cities. No MOU calls for any payment from any city, state or federal agency for our services, and we have never received one dime of taxpayer money whatsoever. We provide service to our community at our cost, with NO fee being charged to the passenger. Even our drivers are forbidden from accepting tips.
So far, SGVTA has received donations of cash mostly from myself. We have also received free tires from a local tire store (Monrovia Tire), enough Magellan GPS Navigation devices to equip each of our vans with audible (speech directions) to assist drivers to find locations for our blind passengers who can't give us physical directions, computer reprogramming for our diesel mini buses to make them more fuel efficient (Gale Banks), a free tank of natural gas from the gas company for our natural gas bus, and numerous free repairs to all our vehicles from my shop (Homer's Automotive).
Because of all the negative press, no one wants to be associated with a service that they think is involved with some controversial charity. Therefore, I am selling my own Harley Davidson to raise enough funds to keep our doors open until people start taking us seriously again. We service hundreds of handicapped, elderly, disabled and needy passengers every month, and ironically our passenger load has increased as a result of the negative press, because people who have no means of transportation to and from their doctor's offices don't care about the negative aspect of the articles, and only care about the service we provide. Unfortunately, at a time when we are the most financially challenged, our passenger load continues to rise.
I hope this helps to set the record straight because I am a local mechanic who set out with some friends to do something good for those who needed it the most, and all this negative press over a volunteer's Ferrari has all but ruined a very real service that many people depend on.
Take care,
Yo
Thank you for the email. I can certainly see how you feel that no good deed goes unpunished. It appears to me that you and your agency have been taken advantage of by a world-class con-artist, Stefan Eriksson. Think of this anology. He is a pool hustler and you walked into a pool hall with cash in your pockets bragging about how good you are. He saw a mark and milked it for all that it was worth. Your mistake? It was playing the game in the first place. You were in over your head and didn't know it.
You have explained how Eriksson got involved with the SGVTA, how he slipped past your screening procedures, and what duties he was commissioned with. You also explained why the SGVTA is allowed to have have a law enforcement arm, and the threats that you feel the SGVTA might face. You have explained the services that the SGVTA provides. You have explained how the SGVTA is funded and operates.
You have explained how Eriksson abused the powers he was granted and that the scope of this abuse was limited to only him.
But you have not explained the why the SGVTA made, what is at best egaggerated, or at worst lies, about what the SGVTA is on the website. If your website indicated what you hoped the SGVTA to become, there was nothing that I could see to indicate that. Did you not know about the web site and public image of the SGVTA that was being presented? Did Eriksson do that? Were you not involved in the production and distribution of public information for the agency?
Which came first? Eriksson and his promises? Or the fake public image and emphasis on terrorism?
The Reality Versus The Image
You have to admit, the emphasis in the public statements from your agency gave me and others the impression that the the SGVTA was far more interested in being a state of the art law-enforcement agency than anything else. Why does a small, free bus service for disabled persons need to lie about the size of the police department and the equipment it had? Why does it talk more about its security than the actual services it provides?
I would think that a web site about your agency would emphisis what your email states. It would have publised the fact that it was run on 100% percent donations and accepted no tax money or user fees. You would think that the contributers to the SGVTA would want public recognition of their generosity, such as Monrovia Tire's contribution. You would think that your web site would invite more merchant and private donations to continue to operate. But it didn't. It didn't say anything like that. Instead it talks about the extensive police department and anti-terrorism unit it has.
The bottom line is, the public face of the SGVTA didn't match the reality that you present here. So I'm still asking, why is that? Do you blame people for being spooked and not wanting anything to do with this anymore? Eriksson does not appear to be at to blame for those inconsistantcies. He was just the reason they came to the attention of people like me.
A Plea From a Client
I also found a long and heartfelt comment to the same post that I want to highlight. This anonymous poster is upset that my speculation about the reasons behind all of this is going to ruin a good thing.
My Father lives in Monrovia a city they service. They pick him up every week and take him to the doctor for his appointment. The bus driver not only helps him on the bus but walks up to his house to help him to the bus. I offered the bus driver $20.00 as a tip and he said “Sorry I cant accept tips but if you like send it to the SGVTA as a donation”I like the part of "...and how it will impact others keep your stupid opinion to yourself." Wow. So the ends always justify the means? That is the same excuse the defenders of Mussolini used to excuse his record on running Italy in WWII. "He may have led us into a war, ruined our country, and killed thousands of people. But he got the trains to run on time."
So I did. I called the city of Monrovia and asked how much they were paying this bus service and they told me not 1 penny they are all volunteers and they work for these old people free of charge I was blown away.
So if they have a police department to keep my father safe who cares. And if they gave that millionaire asshole a badge by mistake so what. They got rid of him when they found out I was told by the city. Police departments catch bad cops all the time so big deal they gave him a badge by mistake.
I found out from the city this guy that owns the body shop has taken the money out of his own business and his own pocket to help these people that our government wont help. Now since this car blowing up and all the negative publicity it has brought, its putting a strain on them and they are thinking about stopping the service. Now what does my dad do when he needs to go to the doctor call a bloger or the press? I don’t think so. I am all for freedom of speech but until you know what your talking about and how it will impact others keep your stupid opinion to yourself.
Hey... it is my blog. I will ask all the questions I want. Sorry about your dad. But it doesn't excuse the abuse of power we have seen in this case.
You Can Still Salvage The SGVTA
From my perspective, the only way you can salvage your agency, and in fact make it stronger, is to publicly abandon the agency's police department and instead focus 100% of the agency on what benefits it brings to the citizens of the SGV. Just because you CAN create a police agency doesn't mean you have to. You started a good thing there. Don't blow it by clinging to the police department. That has tainted the rest of the agency and needs to amputated.
So for sake people who have come to rely on the SGVTA, such as the father of the comment poster, please do this. You can still come clean and make this work for you. You can use this to appeal to sponsors. But you have to have a squeeky clean image to do this.
Eriksson's Snake Oil
I want to take a moment to delve into the product that Eriksson was promising the SGVTA. To quote you "Mr. Eriksson offered to donate time and equipment to develop a real-time camera monitoring system utilizing CDMA technology designed specifically for SGVTA's fleet. Mr. Eriksson proposed using SGVTA buses to test what could have revolutionized transit security on SGVTA's relatively small transit system."
I've noticed that he didn't mention more about what Eriksson was promising. I've read in other places where the product was going to be real-time face recognition system, which is much, much more than a glorified video survelence system as indicated here.
The words "real-time camera monitoring system utilizing CDMA technology" is just another way of saying "cell-phone camera". There is nothing revolutionary about that. You can buy this technology at Circut City and Radio Shack now. The cell phone camera takes a picture and sends it to a user, just like any teenager can do.
Cabs already use systems like this. The have a digital video camera that take the photo of passengers. They might even already transmit the image to the dispatcher in case something terrible happens to the driver and cab.
But... face recognition technology. That would be revolutionary. The problem is, the state of the art of face recognition system is a long way from being reliable. And certainly not reliable as a real time application. It is usless to worry about the mobile client parts of such a system if it can't do the job with input given to it from a hard disk. Talk about putting the cart before the horse!
The skills and technology needed to program a video game are vastly different from the skills needed to program a system that can make sense of an image. To do that, you have to interpret an image that you have no control of the input variables. When you program the game, you have control over all variables and what image is presented on the screen. They are different s night and day.
So my question is... Did Eriksson ever demonstrate a working face recognition system that functioned at all, no matter the source of the input image?
Friday, March 24, 2006
Afghanistan is hopeless
I really try to believe in the best in people. I think that most people want to live in peace, to learn, raise their children, and to be safe and comfortable. Afghanistan has some amazing people. They have been through hell. The Taliban was finally toppled and they have a chance to make themselves a nation to be proud of.
Then shit like this happens. From CNN today.
Either that,or build a wall around Afganistan and let them live in their little Islamic "paradise". See how wonderful that is.
I am so sick and tired of their shit. They have really worn out my sympathy. Seriously, it is time to stop pussy footing around trying to be sensative to their special culture and instead start kicking ass and taking names.
Then any Iman/Cleric stupid enough to start spouting this shit will get given an express ticket to go meet prophet Muhammand in the afterlife. I can only hope that Muhammand will then subsequently kick their sorry asses for all time for being such dumb fucks.
Then shit like this happens. From CNN today.
Senior Muslim clerics are demanding that an Afghan man on trial for converting from Islam to Christianity be executed, warning that if the government caves in to Western pressure and frees him, they will incite people to "pull him into pieces."And this from the same article:
This is pure BS. We didn't fight the Taliban just to let idiots like these clerics run the place. As harsh as it may sound, I think the best thing to do this point is round up all these clerics who are demanding the death penalty for Rahman, a convert from Islam. Then hang them all for incitement of violence and hatred. That might get them to shut their stupid traps.But Said Mirhossain Nasri, the top cleric at Hossainia Mosque, one of the largest Shiite places of worship in Kabul, said Rahman must not be allowed to leave the country.
"If he is allowed to live in the West, then others will claim to be Christian so they can, too," he said. "We must set an example. ... He must be hanged."
The clerics said they were angry with the United States and other countries for pushing for Rahman's freedom.
"We are a small country and we welcome the help the outside world is giving us. But please don't interfere in this issue," Nasri said. "We are Muslims and these are our beliefs. This is much more important to us than all the aid the world has given us."
Either that,or build a wall around Afganistan and let them live in their little Islamic "paradise". See how wonderful that is.
I am so sick and tired of their shit. They have really worn out my sympathy. Seriously, it is time to stop pussy footing around trying to be sensative to their special culture and instead start kicking ass and taking names.
Then any Iman/Cleric stupid enough to start spouting this shit will get given an express ticket to go meet prophet Muhammand in the afterlife. I can only hope that Muhammand will then subsequently kick their sorry asses for all time for being such dumb fucks.
The San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority Anti_Terrorism Unit
Well, well, well. I just got an email today from Yosuf "Yo" Maiwandi, the guy who started the San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority. This is the tiny bus service outside of LA that came to my attention when one of their members of their anti-terrorism division of their police department totaled his million dollar Ferarri in Malbu earlier this month.
I first mentioned this strange tale here, and then a follow up here. Here is the email I got from Maiwandi.
I will dispute your assertion that your SGVTA has never asked for one dollar of tax payers money. That is not absolutely true. The money that is paid to your firm by the local cities in the SG Valley for the transport services for their disabled citizens is tax-payer money. There is nothing wrong with that. The city needs a vendor for a service, and you provide it. No big deal. As far as I can tell, you have been a good vendor. Considering some of the rip-offs some vendors do for the tax payers (*cough* Haliburton, *cough* Iraq, *cough*), I'm glad.
I am sure what you meant is that you never asked for funds from the TSA for law-enforcement and anti-terrorism equipment. I believe you. But I think it is only because you never got far enough to do so.
I appreciate that you want to tell the truth. But keep in mind, you have lost the benefit of the doubt in my mind because of the past statements. Why should I believe you when your agency seems to play fast and loose with facts in the past. Things like claiming to have a full time police force, detectives, squad cars, and the likes, which are not true. Your web site and other public statements build a ficticous company that doesn't even come close the reality of what it is.
The fact that you have given a convicted felon from Sweden the credentials to impersonate a law-enforcement officer so he can be a James Bond really makes one question your judgment.
The bottom line is that it stinks. Enron tried the same thing, to lie, and give the impression that Enron was something that it was not. Look what happened to them. Your SGVTA seems to be doing the same thing.
I hope you don't think that I am attacking you personally. I'm not. In fact, I am impressed. You have not done anything illegal (that I can tell). Nor would even getting a $15 million grant from the TSA be illegal. You just have the brains and balls to push the boundries of the rules. I am just upset that the State and the Feds are so loose with granting law-enforcement credentials and giving away taxpayer money without due-diligence.
I can't wait to hear back from you.
The SGVTA Contraversy
This is one part of a series of posts about The San Gabriel Valley Transit AuthorityI first mentioned this strange tale here, and then a follow up here. Here is the email I got from Maiwandi.
"I think the whole thing is a scam designed to fleece the America taxpayers out of millions of dollars. They set up a phony "transit authority". They then set up a phony police and security department. They then apply for federal funds to equip that department with the security equipment, staff, and resources needed to meet the new standards that the real Dept of Homeland Security has issued for public transportation to meet when the official threat level reaches high levels. The TSA is giving out $15 million grants to bus companies for security. That is a tempting target, no?""So there you have it. With some paperwork and balls, you can start your own police department, arm it with automatic weapons and other cool toys, and bill the taxpayers for the expense."Hi Ron, I like your style of writing. If you want to know the real story, let me know, because we have never asked for one dollar of taxpayers money, nor do we have any "automatic weapons".......But it "Sounds Cool".Very truly yours,
Yosuf "Yo" Maiwandi
Member, Board of Transit Commissioners
San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority
My official answer, Mr. Maiwandi. is YES! I want to know the real story. Please do so. I've been emailing the LA Times reporters that have been following this amazing little tale. Do you mind if I share your story with them?
I will dispute your assertion that your SGVTA has never asked for one dollar of tax payers money. That is not absolutely true. The money that is paid to your firm by the local cities in the SG Valley for the transport services for their disabled citizens is tax-payer money. There is nothing wrong with that. The city needs a vendor for a service, and you provide it. No big deal. As far as I can tell, you have been a good vendor. Considering some of the rip-offs some vendors do for the tax payers (*cough* Haliburton, *cough* Iraq, *cough*), I'm glad.
I am sure what you meant is that you never asked for funds from the TSA for law-enforcement and anti-terrorism equipment. I believe you. But I think it is only because you never got far enough to do so.
I appreciate that you want to tell the truth. But keep in mind, you have lost the benefit of the doubt in my mind because of the past statements. Why should I believe you when your agency seems to play fast and loose with facts in the past. Things like claiming to have a full time police force, detectives, squad cars, and the likes, which are not true. Your web site and other public statements build a ficticous company that doesn't even come close the reality of what it is.
The fact that you have given a convicted felon from Sweden the credentials to impersonate a law-enforcement officer so he can be a James Bond really makes one question your judgment.
The bottom line is that it stinks. Enron tried the same thing, to lie, and give the impression that Enron was something that it was not. Look what happened to them. Your SGVTA seems to be doing the same thing.
I hope you don't think that I am attacking you personally. I'm not. In fact, I am impressed. You have not done anything illegal (that I can tell). Nor would even getting a $15 million grant from the TSA be illegal. You just have the brains and balls to push the boundries of the rules. I am just upset that the State and the Feds are so loose with granting law-enforcement credentials and giving away taxpayer money without due-diligence.
I can't wait to hear back from you.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Church Sign Generator
This is cool! You can put your own saying on a church sign. Here is what I came up with.Thanks Sandmonkey!
OK... I'm officially freaked out now
Last week I mentioned how I was pegged as being "really old" by the teenage interns at Loretta's law firm. Yesterday, my fragile aging ego was dealt another body blow.
Yesterday I noticed that the cubicle of Sandra, one of the women that works here, was decorated with birthday ballons and flowers. So I stopped in and wished her "Happy Birthday! So what are you now? 30?"
Sandra beamed and answered "No! I wish. I'll be a grandmother in a month."
Now Sandra doesn't look that old.. mid 30's if I had to guess. "You're kidding!", I said.
"No. I'm 42 today.", she answered. "My second child is 19 and going to have a baby soon. I can't say anything, considering that I had her when I was 19."
This freaks me out so bad. She is my age, 42. That means that I could not only be dating a woman who is a mother, I could be DATING A GRANDMOTHER! Auuuuugh!
Taking this to the logical extreme... My mom is still waiting for her first grandchild. It is conceivable that if I was to meet and marry a woman my age, such as Sandra, then my mom would become an instant GREAT-GRANDMOTHER. Wouldn't that totally freak her out!
I need to get really drunk this weekend. This is too much.
Yesterday I noticed that the cubicle of Sandra, one of the women that works here, was decorated with birthday ballons and flowers. So I stopped in and wished her "Happy Birthday! So what are you now? 30?"
Sandra beamed and answered "No! I wish. I'll be a grandmother in a month."
Now Sandra doesn't look that old.. mid 30's if I had to guess. "You're kidding!", I said.
"No. I'm 42 today.", she answered. "My second child is 19 and going to have a baby soon. I can't say anything, considering that I had her when I was 19."
This freaks me out so bad. She is my age, 42. That means that I could not only be dating a woman who is a mother, I could be DATING A GRANDMOTHER! Auuuuugh!
Taking this to the logical extreme... My mom is still waiting for her first grandchild. It is conceivable that if I was to meet and marry a woman my age, such as Sandra, then my mom would become an instant GREAT-GRANDMOTHER. Wouldn't that totally freak her out!
I need to get really drunk this weekend. This is too much.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Douchebag Defined
This is a little harsh, but I had a good laugh at the effort this guy put into his defintion of a douchebag.
Monday, March 20, 2006
The New Sizzler
Since Australian Sizzler restaurants have been advertising the hell out of their new safer salad bars. I have decided to to help out with my own ad campaign. Wadda think?
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Drinks Show Your Personality
Robin sent me this warning. Thanks Robin.
Before you order a drink in public, you should read this! Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:
Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.
Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink.
Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.
Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.
Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!
Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.
THEN, there is the MALE addendum...
The deal with guys is, as always, very simpl e and clear cut:
Before you order a drink in public, you should read this! Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:
Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.
Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink.
Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.
Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually, she has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.
Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk... and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!
Drink: Tequila
No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.
THEN, there is the MALE addendum...
The deal with guys is, as always, very simpl e and clear cut:
- Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid. !
- Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
- Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.
- Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.
- Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.
- White Zinfandel: He's gay
Podcast of the future
The Podcast universe just keeps on getting better and better. Since getting myself a iPod Nano and FM transmitter, I never listen to the radio any more. There are more than enough excellent Podcasts out that are so much better than radio.
I don't even carry CD's in my car anymore. Don't need to. I ripped all of my CD's to MP3's and have them on my iPod. With my setup, I have 200 hours of music and podcasts all organized into optimum playlists. The FM transmitter also charges the iPod, so no matter how long the trip, I have everything I need.
If you don't know, Apple added Podcast aggregator functions into iTunes late last year. This does an excellent job of managing your podcast subscriptions and putting them on your iPod for listening. It is all automatic. Just plug the iPod into your computer, and iTunes wakes up and does the rest.
I had a flash of genius regarding podcasts and iPods last month. I am not going to go into specifics because I am looking into doing something with this idea. I called up a friend of mine, Danelle Folta, who is the captain of the Playboy Xtreme Team, and ran my idea by her. She loves it and wants to see what we can do with it. We are going to meet later this month to hash out some details.
Anyways, if I can work out something with her and the team, I may end up doing some technical podcast development. So I'm looking at getting some Apple hardware so I can run some better media development tools. I've never been a big fan of the Mac's, so I an reluctant to sink money into one. I know they are good machines. But frankly, I like to get under the hood of systems and software and make them better. Apple keeps their all locked up.
I'm pretty excited about this. I have ideas all the time, but this one is one that just keeps getting better and stronger the more I work on it. When I am ready to go public with product, I will let you all know about it. Please, wish me luck.
I'm off to bed. Good night..
I don't even carry CD's in my car anymore. Don't need to. I ripped all of my CD's to MP3's and have them on my iPod. With my setup, I have 200 hours of music and podcasts all organized into optimum playlists. The FM transmitter also charges the iPod, so no matter how long the trip, I have everything I need.
If you don't know, Apple added Podcast aggregator functions into iTunes late last year. This does an excellent job of managing your podcast subscriptions and putting them on your iPod for listening. It is all automatic. Just plug the iPod into your computer, and iTunes wakes up and does the rest.
I had a flash of genius regarding podcasts and iPods last month. I am not going to go into specifics because I am looking into doing something with this idea. I called up a friend of mine, Danelle Folta, who is the captain of the Playboy Xtreme Team, and ran my idea by her. She loves it and wants to see what we can do with it. We are going to meet later this month to hash out some details.
Anyways, if I can work out something with her and the team, I may end up doing some technical podcast development. So I'm looking at getting some Apple hardware so I can run some better media development tools. I've never been a big fan of the Mac's, so I an reluctant to sink money into one. I know they are good machines. But frankly, I like to get under the hood of systems and software and make them better. Apple keeps their all locked up.
I'm pretty excited about this. I have ideas all the time, but this one is one that just keeps getting better and stronger the more I work on it. When I am ready to go public with product, I will let you all know about it. Please, wish me luck.
I'm off to bed. Good night..
Nigerian 419 Scammers
Oh goody! I got a Nigerian 419 scam email today. I notice that I don't get as many any more. I just love messing with these idiots. This one claims to have $12.5 million of his murdered father's money hidden away and needs my help to get it out of Cote Ivory Africa. Classic letter, with just the right touch of poor English and bad use of capital letters and punctuation. And he wants to give me a whopping 35% of it. Nice.
You would think that someone who had $12.5 million laying around would be able to send his kids to a decent school to learn how to write.
Don't worry. I'm not stupid enough to give out any real info. I have special email account and fake ID that use for messing with these guys. My goal is to get them to send ME money. It has been done by others.
Two of my favorite sites about this new cyber-sport, abusing scammers:
419 Eater
Scamorama
Enjoy. I will. Keep your fingers crossed that this bozo takes my bait!
You would think that someone who had $12.5 million laying around would be able to send his kids to a decent school to learn how to write.
Don't worry. I'm not stupid enough to give out any real info. I have special email account and fake ID that use for messing with these guys. My goal is to get them to send ME money. It has been done by others.
Two of my favorite sites about this new cyber-sport, abusing scammers:
419 Eater
Scamorama
Enjoy. I will. Keep your fingers crossed that this bozo takes my bait!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
More on the $1M Ferrari wreck in Malbu
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the bizzare case of the wreck of a million dollar Ferrari in Malbu. There have been a few developments in that case.
The mystery driver, "Detrick", has never been found. Nor have any more clues about his identidy been found. The "passenger", Swedish millionaire and convicted felon, Stefan Eriksson, is still free and sticking to his story.
It turns out that the Ferrarie was being driven at 162 mph, not 120mph as first reported, on PCH in Malibu when it crashed. It is amazing that no one was killed. Add the factor that Eriksson was over the legal drinking limit at the time, and the police still think he was the driver.
If also turns out that Eriksson was given the title "Deputy Commissioner of the San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority's Police Anti-terrorism Unit" by simply promising to install a video survellence system on the SGVTA's 5 small buses. The SGVTA turns out to be nothing but a tiny private non-profit company that provides transportation to disabled citizens for Monrovia, a small city outside of LA. The SGVTA is run from a telephone in the office of a car body repair shop.
It also turns out the SGVTA's police department was started by the repair shop's owner, Yosef Maiwandi, simply because he could and it "sounded cool". He traded some motorcycles for an old bus, and founded the SGVTA with it in order to start the police department. He found that having his own private police department gave him access to all sorts of cool tools and resources, such as money.
It also has another benefit. Automatic weapons are illegal in the US, except for police departments. This allows Yosef Maiwandi, Eriksson, and other volunteers to the SVGTA Police Dept to have automatic weapons. Pretty cool, eh? Also also allows convicted felons, like Errickson, to not only have a weapon, but automatic weapons and a badge too!
It turns out that Eriksson's contribution to the SGVTA was his promise to use them to test out a face recognition video survellence system that he claimed to be developing. I find that very weak. How does making car racing video games translate into being an expert on face recognition software? That have nothing to do with each other. It instead sounds like he was laying the groundwork for a new scam. They knew that they could get large research grants development of such a system. They don't actually need to produce one. They just need to look like they can to get money.
So there you have it. With some paperwork and balls, you can start your own police department, arm it with automatic weapons and other cool toys, and bill the taxpayers for the expense.
Speaking of civilians with dubious law-enforcements credentials, the LA Times also reported that the LA County Sheriff Lee Baca issued photo identification cards to members of a volunteer group who had contributed to his political campaign. He had created the volunteer "Homeland Security Support Unit" for his contributers. For a few thousand dollars, you get an official badge and ID that to the untrained eye, looks like a real police badge.
In fact, they look so real that some of the holders have been able to use them for things like bypassing airport security checks. Since the article, the Sheriff has been trying to get the badges back.
There was all this uproar that the Septemeber 11 hijackers were able to get drivers licenese legally. Can you image what terrorist can do with their own police department?
The SGVTA Contraversy
This is one part of a series of posts about The San Gabriel Valley Transit AuthorityThe mystery driver, "Detrick", has never been found. Nor have any more clues about his identidy been found. The "passenger", Swedish millionaire and convicted felon, Stefan Eriksson, is still free and sticking to his story.
It turns out that the Ferrarie was being driven at 162 mph, not 120mph as first reported, on PCH in Malibu when it crashed. It is amazing that no one was killed. Add the factor that Eriksson was over the legal drinking limit at the time, and the police still think he was the driver.
If also turns out that Eriksson was given the title "Deputy Commissioner of the San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority's Police Anti-terrorism Unit" by simply promising to install a video survellence system on the SGVTA's 5 small buses. The SGVTA turns out to be nothing but a tiny private non-profit company that provides transportation to disabled citizens for Monrovia, a small city outside of LA. The SGVTA is run from a telephone in the office of a car body repair shop.
It also turns out the SGVTA's police department was started by the repair shop's owner, Yosef Maiwandi, simply because he could and it "sounded cool". He traded some motorcycles for an old bus, and founded the SGVTA with it in order to start the police department. He found that having his own private police department gave him access to all sorts of cool tools and resources, such as money.
It also has another benefit. Automatic weapons are illegal in the US, except for police departments. This allows Yosef Maiwandi, Eriksson, and other volunteers to the SVGTA Police Dept to have automatic weapons. Pretty cool, eh? Also also allows convicted felons, like Errickson, to not only have a weapon, but automatic weapons and a badge too!
It turns out that Eriksson's contribution to the SGVTA was his promise to use them to test out a face recognition video survellence system that he claimed to be developing. I find that very weak. How does making car racing video games translate into being an expert on face recognition software? That have nothing to do with each other. It instead sounds like he was laying the groundwork for a new scam. They knew that they could get large research grants development of such a system. They don't actually need to produce one. They just need to look like they can to get money.
So there you have it. With some paperwork and balls, you can start your own police department, arm it with automatic weapons and other cool toys, and bill the taxpayers for the expense.
Speaking of civilians with dubious law-enforcements credentials, the LA Times also reported that the LA County Sheriff Lee Baca issued photo identification cards to members of a volunteer group who had contributed to his political campaign. He had created the volunteer "Homeland Security Support Unit" for his contributers. For a few thousand dollars, you get an official badge and ID that to the untrained eye, looks like a real police badge.
In fact, they look so real that some of the holders have been able to use them for things like bypassing airport security checks. Since the article, the Sheriff has been trying to get the badges back.
There was all this uproar that the Septemeber 11 hijackers were able to get drivers licenese legally. Can you image what terrorist can do with their own police department?
My Xmas Presents to myself
I know that it is a bit late to be mentioning this. But I'm home sick today and I keep thinking of things I want write about. One tradition I have created for myself over the years is my annual Christmas present to myself. I allow myself to buy one thing (or maybe two things) that I really, really want, but don't need.
This Christmas I bought myself a $185 (USD) dollar flashlight. To be specific, I bought myself the Surefire A2 Aviator. This is not your father's flashlight. A lot of people have asked me "What?!? What is so fantastic about that flashlight that makes it worth $185?". Well, it is simply the best flashlight in the planet. I am deeply impressed with it. To be honest with you. Once you use it, you will find it difficult to go back to anything else.
The amount of light that pours out of this little things is freaky. It is like having your own police-car style spot light in your hand. Plus it is small, rugged, and well built.
OK... I feel guilty about spending so much for a flash light. But man, what a flashlight. In the big picture, it is not that bad. I rarely drink. I don't smoke. Most men my age will think nothing of blowing $250 a weekend or month on beer and junk food. At least I will have something for show for my money other than a beergut.
This Christmas I bought myself a $185 (USD) dollar flashlight. To be specific, I bought myself the Surefire A2 Aviator. This is not your father's flashlight. A lot of people have asked me "What?!? What is so fantastic about that flashlight that makes it worth $185?". Well, it is simply the best flashlight in the planet. I am deeply impressed with it. To be honest with you. Once you use it, you will find it difficult to go back to anything else.The amount of light that pours out of this little things is freaky. It is like having your own police-car style spot light in your hand. Plus it is small, rugged, and well built.
OK... I feel guilty about spending so much for a flash light. But man, what a flashlight. In the big picture, it is not that bad. I rarely drink. I don't smoke. Most men my age will think nothing of blowing $250 a weekend or month on beer and junk food. At least I will have something for show for my money other than a beergut.
David versus "American Idol"
If you can't tell, I love reading news, all sorts of news. I enjoy reading about people who are clever and figure out ways to beat the system.
Buried in today's LA Times is a short story about a guy who did just that, and is now being punished for it.
Buried in today's LA Times is a short story about a guy who did just that, and is now being punished for it.
Flap shuts 'Idol' prediction siteSo there you go. A guy figures out how to beat American Idol at their own game, and they demand he stop because of "copyright issues"? Of course they have more money than he does. So they will simply sue him into submission. As you can see, he has capitualted already. This is sad. I've mentioned my thoughts about American Idol in the past. In short, it sucks.
By Scott Collins, Times Staff Writer
March 18, 2006
Are the producers of Fox's "American Idol" trying to squelch a website that might predict the show's outcome?
Dialidol.com has been generating buzz among "Idol" fans due to its supposedly uncanny ability to predict which singers will get voted off in any given week. The site purports to do this with an autodialing program it provides to phone-in voters and then analyzes which contestants' numbers yield the most busy signals, presumably signifying the highest call volume. The contestant whose line is most available is deemed the least popular and therefore the most likely to be voted off.
"Idol" producer FremantleMedia is apparently not amused. Late Wednesday, the content of Dialidol was removed and replaced with a notice from webmaster Jim Hellriegel, who wrote that the producers had sent the site "a cease and desist letter yesterday claiming that Dialidol infringes on copyrights they own." The webmaster calls the site a "David" fighting the Fremantle "Goliath."
In a brief interview Friday morning, Ohio resident Hellriegel said he believed Fremantle was using the copyright infringement claim as a pretext for shutting down the dial-in service, which could threaten the suspense, and therefore the ratings, for the "results" shows.
The producers, meanwhile, aren't talking.
"Fremantle has no comment on this," Eric Green, a spokesman for the producers, said in an e-mail.
Health Savings Accounts
I've been reading about the new Health Savings Accounts in the US. I have to say, they are damn good idea. If you don't know what they are. They are savings accounts which you pay your out-of-pocket expenses when you have High deductible Health Policy (HDHP) insurance.
They are designed to get the millions of Americans who have no medical insurance coverage to be able to afford to have catastrophic medical insurance on them. The money saved in taxes is often enough to pay the premium.
HDHP is just a fancy word for "catastrophic medical insurance". It is insurance that only kicks in after the insured has paid a good chunk of the medical expenses themselves. I like it because it meshes with the reality that people are just going to have to budget money for medical expenses. This gives the customer the best of both worlds. They control the first few thousand dollars of medical expenses each year. This brings the forces of the market economy to bear upon the out-of-control medical industry, which in the long run, is the only solution that is going to work for the US.
It astounds me that people have no problem paying $125 a month for mobile phone coverage. $400 a month for a car. $50 a week for fuel. $50 a month for cable TV. Yet balk at paying $20 for a medical co-pay. They have no problem paying almost $10k a year on the previous items, but only have max of $2500 a year out-of-pocket for medical care with their insurance.
The Good
The Bad
The Ugly
Why HSA's are needed
One of the problems with the way medical care is paid for (or not paid for) in the US is the simple fact that so many people consider it a secondary expense. So when it comes to budgeting money for medical care, savings for medical bills is often the first thing to be cut out of the budget. Other things take priority. It doesn't rank up there with rent, food, utilities, etc.
So when people do get medical insurance, often subsidized by their employer, they don't want it to impact their monthly budget above and beyond the premium amounts. People that have no employee subsidized coverage find that the similar low/no deductible insurance is too expensive.
By simply having a few thousand dollars set aside explicitly to pay for medical care, and combined with affordable HDHP insurance coverage, the average American can rest easy knowing that they are not going to loose everything should there be a medical emergency.
The future is already here!
The days of employer paid medical insurance are coming to a close. The premiums are getting too high. The fact is, we need to come up with a better way to pay for our medical care. The HSA is it. I would not be surprised to find that more and more employers are going to switch to HSA policies in the future, demanding their employees take responsibility for their own medical care. This has already happened for retirements. Traditional pensions are no longer around, having been replaced by 401Ks.
I also can see where welfare might kick in for those who are smart. I would like to see the government help pay the premiums of those who are out of work and have (a) a funded HSA, and (b) HDHP coverage. Perhaps it can be done on a loan basis, like a student loan. That way the person can still have medical coverage while looking for work, or on medical leave.
Business Opportunity!!
I smell a business opportunity here. Since people find it hard to set aside money for medical expenses. Then perhaps they would be willing to subscribe to a service that withdrawals a fixed amount per paycheck and make the contributions to their HSA. And also pays the medical expenses from their HSA before giving the claims to their HDHP company for payment.
That way, they get the best of all worlds. The money never gets into their hands to spend on other things like cable TV, credit card bills, etc. Yet, they have affordable medical insurance.
An IRA for those who can't have an IRA
One thing that I've noticed about an HSA, is that it appears to me that it can function as an IRA who those who do not qualify. There are two reason for this.
The contributions for an HSA do not have to come from earned income. You can fund it through investments and savings.
As far as I can tell. You don't HAVE to spend it. In other words, you can max out your contributions, pay your deductable expenses from your taxed income, and leave the contributions in the HSA to grow tax free.
Man, that is hard to beat. I have not seen anything, anywhere, that say that if you have an HSA, you must use it to pay your medical expense. It only says that the HSA funds can only be used for medical expenses.
So, lets say you start maxing out your HSA contributions and are financially diciplined enough not to touch them. Then how do you eventually benefit? Simple. After you retire, use the HSA to pay the co-payments on your Medicare expenses (if Medicare survives that long). Even if there is no Medicare, you can spend the money for other expenses. and simply pay the tax them plus a 10% penalty. That is not too bad of a price for being allowed to make tax free contributions AND tax free growth for a long time.
Perhaps by the time you retire, the laws will allow you to tap your HSA for other things without penalty, or perhaps even without tax.
They are designed to get the millions of Americans who have no medical insurance coverage to be able to afford to have catastrophic medical insurance on them. The money saved in taxes is often enough to pay the premium.
HDHP is just a fancy word for "catastrophic medical insurance". It is insurance that only kicks in after the insured has paid a good chunk of the medical expenses themselves. I like it because it meshes with the reality that people are just going to have to budget money for medical expenses. This gives the customer the best of both worlds. They control the first few thousand dollars of medical expenses each year. This brings the forces of the market economy to bear upon the out-of-control medical industry, which in the long run, is the only solution that is going to work for the US.
It astounds me that people have no problem paying $125 a month for mobile phone coverage. $400 a month for a car. $50 a week for fuel. $50 a month for cable TV. Yet balk at paying $20 for a medical co-pay. They have no problem paying almost $10k a year on the previous items, but only have max of $2500 a year out-of-pocket for medical care with their insurance.
The Good
- The deposits are tax free. This lowers your taxable federal income. For some people, this can make a huge difference by dropping you into a lower bracket.
- The withdrawals (for medical expenses only), are tax free.
- And the earnings are tax free.
- If you are over 55, you can make additional "catch-up" contributions.
- The money can be invested in the same places as an IRA, such as mutual funds. It doesn't have to be stuck in a low-yield money-market fund.
- Money can be contributed year after year.
- Any money you do not spend continues to grow, tax free. No "use it or loose it" about it.
The Bad
- Your annual contributions can not exceed the annual deductible of your insurance.
- For 2005, your annual contributions can not exceed $2,650 if you have single coverage and $5,250 for a family. For 2006, these amounts are $2,700 and $5,450, respectively. These amounts will be increased for inflation in future years.
- You can't pay the insurance premiums from the account.
The Ugly
- Unlike an IRA, an HSA is not covered by ERISA. So the funds are not shielded from liens, theft, and judgments.
- Some states, such as California, do not grant any tax break for your HSA.
- You can't have one if you already have medical insurance like an HMO.
Why HSA's are needed
One of the problems with the way medical care is paid for (or not paid for) in the US is the simple fact that so many people consider it a secondary expense. So when it comes to budgeting money for medical care, savings for medical bills is often the first thing to be cut out of the budget. Other things take priority. It doesn't rank up there with rent, food, utilities, etc.
So when people do get medical insurance, often subsidized by their employer, they don't want it to impact their monthly budget above and beyond the premium amounts. People that have no employee subsidized coverage find that the similar low/no deductible insurance is too expensive.
By simply having a few thousand dollars set aside explicitly to pay for medical care, and combined with affordable HDHP insurance coverage, the average American can rest easy knowing that they are not going to loose everything should there be a medical emergency.
The future is already here!
The days of employer paid medical insurance are coming to a close. The premiums are getting too high. The fact is, we need to come up with a better way to pay for our medical care. The HSA is it. I would not be surprised to find that more and more employers are going to switch to HSA policies in the future, demanding their employees take responsibility for their own medical care. This has already happened for retirements. Traditional pensions are no longer around, having been replaced by 401Ks.
I also can see where welfare might kick in for those who are smart. I would like to see the government help pay the premiums of those who are out of work and have (a) a funded HSA, and (b) HDHP coverage. Perhaps it can be done on a loan basis, like a student loan. That way the person can still have medical coverage while looking for work, or on medical leave.
Business Opportunity!!
I smell a business opportunity here. Since people find it hard to set aside money for medical expenses. Then perhaps they would be willing to subscribe to a service that withdrawals a fixed amount per paycheck and make the contributions to their HSA. And also pays the medical expenses from their HSA before giving the claims to their HDHP company for payment.
That way, they get the best of all worlds. The money never gets into their hands to spend on other things like cable TV, credit card bills, etc. Yet, they have affordable medical insurance.
An IRA for those who can't have an IRA
One thing that I've noticed about an HSA, is that it appears to me that it can function as an IRA who those who do not qualify. There are two reason for this.
The contributions for an HSA do not have to come from earned income. You can fund it through investments and savings.
As far as I can tell. You don't HAVE to spend it. In other words, you can max out your contributions, pay your deductable expenses from your taxed income, and leave the contributions in the HSA to grow tax free.
Man, that is hard to beat. I have not seen anything, anywhere, that say that if you have an HSA, you must use it to pay your medical expense. It only says that the HSA funds can only be used for medical expenses.
So, lets say you start maxing out your HSA contributions and are financially diciplined enough not to touch them. Then how do you eventually benefit? Simple. After you retire, use the HSA to pay the co-payments on your Medicare expenses (if Medicare survives that long). Even if there is no Medicare, you can spend the money for other expenses. and simply pay the tax them plus a 10% penalty. That is not too bad of a price for being allowed to make tax free contributions AND tax free growth for a long time.
Perhaps by the time you retire, the laws will allow you to tap your HSA for other things without penalty, or perhaps even without tax.
Update on job situation
Well this has been a stressful two weeks for me. No new job offers have been extended, so I have to assume that come April 1st, I will be jobless. I've been hoping that one might come up. But now it is March 18th and nothing has been mentioned. Damn.
I think the stress is effecting me. I came down sick again with the same crap I caught when I was in the US in January. It is like a nasty flu. So I've been trying to work, but spend the last two days at home sick. Last night my housemate Robin started making me vodka fruit juice mixes, which really make the pills go down well, and allows me to sleep like the dead. Thank you Robin.
Well. I don't know what I am going to do. I guess I will decide in a few weeks. I really don't want to go back to the US. I'm not ready yet. The IRS is still making my life hell from 2000 when divorce was going on. So I think they plan to make my return him hell for me. We will see what I can do about that. I do know that I can't afford to work for them for two years straight while they take everything and leave me $125 a week to live on. I baffles my mind why they think I would be inspired to work my ass for years just to have them take it all. That is a serious de-motivator. I'd rather sit on a beach in the Phillipines and catch fish for dinner than work 12 hours a day for them.
I think the stress is effecting me. I came down sick again with the same crap I caught when I was in the US in January. It is like a nasty flu. So I've been trying to work, but spend the last two days at home sick. Last night my housemate Robin started making me vodka fruit juice mixes, which really make the pills go down well, and allows me to sleep like the dead. Thank you Robin.
Well. I don't know what I am going to do. I guess I will decide in a few weeks. I really don't want to go back to the US. I'm not ready yet. The IRS is still making my life hell from 2000 when divorce was going on. So I think they plan to make my return him hell for me. We will see what I can do about that. I do know that I can't afford to work for them for two years straight while they take everything and leave me $125 a week to live on. I baffles my mind why they think I would be inspired to work my ass for years just to have them take it all. That is a serious de-motivator. I'd rather sit on a beach in the Phillipines and catch fish for dinner than work 12 hours a day for them.
I'm so old!
Wow. I was put in my place yesterday! On Friday I walked over to the law firm where Loretta works. I went over to pick up the lunch she had made me. While waiting in the lobby, two of the firm's young office girls come out. I am standing there talking to Loretta, and I become aware that the two girls are standing behind me, staring at me.
So I turn around and look at them and smile. They start to giggle and run off the elevator, giggling the whole way. I asked Loretta "What the hell was that?". She explained that they are two young 18 year old interns. They had come out to the lobby to check me out because Loretta had mentioned me and they wanted to see what I looked like.
Yesterday Loretta told me what the told her when they came back upstairs. The said that I was ok, but "He is so old!" (I'm 42).
Loretta asked them how old they thought she was. "Oh, 24-25" they guessed. Nope. She is 41. The girls freaked out. "Oh my god. You are my mother's age!". The stared at Loretta in amazement. I don't know if they were amazed that she looks good for 41. Or that someone that old can have a male friend. It must boggle their minds!
So I turn around and look at them and smile. They start to giggle and run off the elevator, giggling the whole way. I asked Loretta "What the hell was that?". She explained that they are two young 18 year old interns. They had come out to the lobby to check me out because Loretta had mentioned me and they wanted to see what I looked like.
Yesterday Loretta told me what the told her when they came back upstairs. The said that I was ok, but "He is so old!" (I'm 42).
Loretta asked them how old they thought she was. "Oh, 24-25" they guessed. Nope. She is 41. The girls freaked out. "Oh my god. You are my mother's age!". The stared at Loretta in amazement. I don't know if they were amazed that she looks good for 41. Or that someone that old can have a male friend. It must boggle their minds!
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Hello... I'll be your salad bar security guard today
I just saw a scary ad on TV tonight. It was from Sizzler, the steak house chain of restaurants. The ad details all new security features that they have implemented to protect their salad bars. They illustrate the salad bar guard who keeps an eagle eye on the food, the new security cameras overhead, and they hint at additional security safeguards behind in the kitchen, but they can't tell you what.
I can only assume that they have armed personal hiding in the back, watching the salad-cam, and waiting for the secret signal from the salad guard, to pounce on the next customer who attempts to use his salad plate to sneak an extra plate of chow to his kid without paying.
Just kidding. I don't know if I should be horrified or pleased. The ad just creeps me out. They treat the salad bar like it was a nuclear reactor being targeted by terrorist.
What promoted these actions, and the ads to publicize them, was the recent incident in Brisbane on March 01 where some crazy woman sprinkled rat poison on the salad bar at two local Sizzler stores.
What happened to the old days when the biggest problem at the Sizzler salad bar was some idiot sneezing on the crutons. What a weird world we live in now.
Speaking of the weird new world. As I am sitting here writing this post, on TV in the background is the 1992 movie "Passenger 57". It is a lame ass Hollywood movie about an airline hijacking specialist who is caught up in hijacking and has to overcome his own demons to save the beautiful flight attendant. It is really lame. But I degress.
What strikes me as odd is that the movie is now so irrelevant in this post 9/11 world of ours. How many hijacking have there been since 9/11? Only a couple that I've heard of. None "sucessful" either. 9/11 single handedly killed in-flight hijacking industry. 1992 was such a innocent time compared to now. Now the hijackers have to plead with passengers not to tear them limb for limb and take the plane down with them.
Hey... I justed noticed that this movie stars a young Elizabeth Hurley. She is one of the hottest women on the planet. She must have been about 27 when they filmed this. Wow....
I gotto go watch Liz. Bye.
I can only assume that they have armed personal hiding in the back, watching the salad-cam, and waiting for the secret signal from the salad guard, to pounce on the next customer who attempts to use his salad plate to sneak an extra plate of chow to his kid without paying.
Just kidding. I don't know if I should be horrified or pleased. The ad just creeps me out. They treat the salad bar like it was a nuclear reactor being targeted by terrorist.
What promoted these actions, and the ads to publicize them, was the recent incident in Brisbane on March 01 where some crazy woman sprinkled rat poison on the salad bar at two local Sizzler stores.
What happened to the old days when the biggest problem at the Sizzler salad bar was some idiot sneezing on the crutons. What a weird world we live in now.
Speaking of the weird new world. As I am sitting here writing this post, on TV in the background is the 1992 movie "Passenger 57". It is a lame ass Hollywood movie about an airline hijacking specialist who is caught up in hijacking and has to overcome his own demons to save the beautiful flight attendant. It is really lame. But I degress.
What strikes me as odd is that the movie is now so irrelevant in this post 9/11 world of ours. How many hijacking have there been since 9/11? Only a couple that I've heard of. None "sucessful" either. 9/11 single handedly killed in-flight hijacking industry. 1992 was such a innocent time compared to now. Now the hijackers have to plead with passengers not to tear them limb for limb and take the plane down with them.
Hey... I justed noticed that this movie stars a young Elizabeth Hurley. She is one of the hottest women on the planet. She must have been about 27 when they filmed this. Wow....
I gotto go watch Liz. Bye.
Father Deeter and gay marriage
I spend Saturday as a wedding guest here in
The priest was Father Tim Deeter. I've met him last year at the wedding of Loretta's oldest nephew. I mention this because I do like him. Father Deeter is an American, born and raised in
The thing I like about Father Deeter is that he has a fantastic sense of humor. He is very relaxed and easy going. He is a big MLB White Sox fan. I had the pleasure of being seated next to him at last year's wedding and got to taking to him about life back home. At that time, he was going to take business trip to southern
The reception for scheduled for
I just simply started eating my food. I was not going to wait any longer. Loretta poked me in the ribs and told me that it was impolite to start eating until the wedding party was seated and grace was said. That started a debate at our table about what to do. I argued (a) no one told us that we couldn't eat, and (b) if they didn't want us to eat, then why did they put food on the table in front of us? My argument won the day, so we all dug in. This seems to have given the tables around us the permission to eat too. The stricter religious people at our table, *cough* Loretta *cough*, refused and just looked at their food.
Eventually, the wedding party came in, with Father Deeter, and got seated. Father Deeter went up the PA and announced that he was going to give grace. He cracked that some people had tipped him to the fact that a number of people in the room had already started eating. And they wanted to know what was going to happen to them. Father Deeter replied "We were all going to hell." But them he added "That s a bit harsh for a wedding party. So instead, I've asked God to just give us terrible stomach craps at
The holdouts at my table all gave me smug and sanctimonious looks. I was a heathen sinner for eating my food... so I guess I am going to hell. Tell me something that I don't already know :-).
Father Deeter is staunchly conservative in his convictions, which I don't have a problem with. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. He does use the weddings to makes his feeling about marriage very clear during the ceremony. I have to hand it to him. He has the rare ability to deliver his thoughts and reasons with humor, which makes it palatable to the audience. He doesn't talk down to you, or make you feel bad if you disagree with him.
At Paul's wedding last year, he lambasted the ease in which people can get divorced, abandoning their spouse and oaths at any time without cause.
In yesterday's wedding, he attacked the concept of gay marriage. He got on the subject of the movie "Brokeback Mountain", and how it is trying to make the idea of gay marriage politically correct. He blasted the idea of gay marriage as absurd. "What's next?” he asked. "Make it legal for people to marry their pets?"
Well Father Deeter. There is where you lost me. He argues that allowing gay marriage is a slippery slope, which will then open the doors for other alternative marriages. My problem is where he decided to draw the line. He places it between heterosexual and homosexual marriage. He puts homosexual marriage in with the collection of clearly irrational marriage situations.
His "slippery slope" theory is absurd. If two rational and consenting adults love each other, wish to pledge to live together, to be faithful and to care for each other, then who are we to deny that? They key words here are "two rational and consenting human adults". An animal is not a human. An animal can not be rational or consenting. A child can not consent to marriage. An inanimate object can not consent to anything. Therefore, the idea that society would allow such marriages is absurd. To argue that gay marriage would allow this, is in itself, illogical and absurd.
Rather than using reason and logic to defend his arguments, Father Deeter used hyperbole and fear. That is a shame. He is a smart and articulate man. He shouldn't need to stoop so low.
The real argument against gay marriage is children. It opens up a big can of worms. Can we deny any married couple the right to have, adopt, or raise children? That is a difficult question. If this is Father Deeter's problem with homosexual marriage, then just say so. There is no need to go to ridiculous extremes and witty, but meaningless, quips such as "Adam & Eve, not Adam & Steve".
There is no doubt that the best homosexual couples would make far better parents than the worst heterosexual couples. So there is no fundamental flaw which renders them incapable of raising a child.
I think a lot of people fear that a homosexual couples are really pedophiles intent on "converting" young children to homosexuality. How on earth the terrible crime of pedophilia became connected to homosexuals in people's minds is beyond me. I've never met a homosexual who was sexually interested in children. I would be willing to bet that heterosexual pedophiles far outnumber homosexual pedophiles. Therefore, heterosexuals rank as a far greater risk to children then homosexuals do.
Also, there is the fear that homosexual couples will raise the children to be homosexual themselves. That is unsubstantiated bullshit. Chances are, the children will be heterosexual. Just because your parents are attracted to people of the same gender does not mean that you will be.
Personally, I wish that homosexuals who wish to be married should take a long term view and accept that they are not going to be able to overcome the child raising issue for a long time. In the meantime, they should focus on simply being able to marry their partner. If that means pledging or accepting that they won't have children, then so be it. They can save that battle for another day.
Steak and BJ Day
March 14th is Steak and BJ Day! This new "holiday" is the guy's version of Valentine's Day. Since Valentine's s all about the women, this holiday was designed to make men happy, at least one day a year.You know the drill. Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for a significant other by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Every Valentines day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or girlfriend that you really do care for them more than any other. Now ladies, I'll let you in on a little secret; guys really don't enjoy this that much. Sure seeing that smile on your face when we get it right is priceless, but that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat and consideration. Another secret; guys feel left out. That's right, there's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or too embarrassed to admit it.
Which is why a new holiday has been created.
March 14th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you care for him.
No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. Thats it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th!
The word is already beginning to spread, but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling. So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world. And, of course, steak and BJ's.
Which is why a new holiday has been created.
March 14th is now officially "Steak and Blowjob Day". Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you care for him.
No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. Thats it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th!
The word is already beginning to spread, but as with any new idea, it needs a little push to start the ball rolling. So spread the word, and help bring love and peace to this crazy world. And, of course, steak and BJ's.
So mark your wife's or girlfriend's calender guys!
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Motorgirls
 |
| My friend Louise here in Perth has a starring role in a locally produced TV series called "Motorgirls" [website]. She is not an actress, but a lawyer. She is quite a lady that I feel privleged to count as a friend. She is tall, very beautiful, plays rugy, rides motorcyles, sails, surfs, and is an awesome, kick-ass, Aussie girl. In the photo Louise is on the right in the lime-green outfit. Her friend Bushy, in black in the photo, is the force behind Motorgirls. She is a video producer, direcor, actress, motorhead, and all around very interesting person. I've met her a few times and I really like her. She is so cool and laid back. She drives this wicked black mucsle car, a Ford Fairlane ZC, around town. If you are in Perth, then check out the show. I think it will go Australia wide, so keep your eyes out for it. |
Friday, March 03, 2006
Truth is stranger than fiction
The most bizarre story is unfolding in Los Angeles right now. I swear, if you had written this as a movie or book you would have been laughed out of town.
The LA Times has been tracking this story, which I too been reading. I now think that a single car traffic accident in Malibu a few days ago has blown the lid off a huge scam ripping off the US tax payers.
It started out a week and a half ago as simply an unusual traffic accident. A rare Ferrari, worth almost a million dollars, crashed into a light pole along the Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu and was totalled. It was reported that the Ferrari was speeding, doing 120 mph, and lost control. No one was injured. You think that would be the end of story. Some idiot with more money than brains in Malibu wrecks his million dollar car. That it when things get weird.
The only person the police found was a 44 year old Swedish millionaire, Stefan Eriksson, with a cut lip. Eriksson lives in the super-rich LA suburb of Bel-Air. He made his money with video games, specifically racing games. Eriksson claims that he was just the passenger. He claims that the driver was some German guy who he only knew as "Dietrich". After the accident "Dietrich" ran off up into the hills of Malibu and never found, despite a 3 hour search by police.
Needless to say, the police are not buying it. Eriksson blew a .09 blood-alcohol level, which is fine if he was a passenger. It would be a DUI of he was driving. So, now we have a name and face for the idiot with more money than brains. And this idiot is trying to avoid a DUI by making up some story about a fake driver. Interesting.
It gets weirder.
It turns out the police can't tell who owns the Ferrari. It was imported from Europe and was not even legal to drive in California. In addition, the police found at Mercedes SLR in Eriksson's home that is listed as being stolen, by Mr Eriksson, in London. A Scottish bank contacted the LA Sheriff's department claiming that they own the Ferrari (and were probably wondering where it was). Also, Mr. Eriksson has a felony conviction back in Sweden where he served prison time for counterfeiting. He recently resigned as a top executive of a failed game company called Gizmondo.
So... now we have a convicted felon, dot.com millionaire, and apparent fraudster, who plays fast and loose. The guy has balls. Despite everything, he still manages to somehow live the high life… fast exotic cars, a mansion in Bel-Air, multi-million dollar business deals, world travel. Wow!
It gets even weirder...
The story takes a strange twist with the involvement of a tiny public transport agency that gives rides to paraplegics in the San Gabriel Valley. The San Gabriel Valley is a cluster of small bedroom communities north east of Los Angeles. Pasadena, home of JPL, CalTech, and the Rose Bowl, is the best known city in the valley.
It turns out that shortly after the crash, two men showed up at the accident site and identified themselves to the police "homeland security" officers from a small San Gabriel Valley transit authority. Stefan Eriksson told investigators that he himself was ‘Deputy Commissioner’ of the San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority police department's antiterrorism unit.
Huh? The tiny little SGVTA has its own police department? And that department even has it own anti-terrorism unit? All of this was news to the cities and the law-enforcement departments in the San Gabriel Valley. The SGVTA web site claims that their police department has a chief, detectives, marked police cruisers and an "antiterrorism" division. It also claims that they hired a new police chief, one Philip J. Sugar, who has years of experience with the LAPD and the Los Angeles City Attorney’s Office. They say “Chief Sugar takes over at a time when mass transit is faced with perhaps its greatest challenges ever - - the post 911 era…”.
Gee. A simple check of the SGVTA own web site shows that it is nothing but a tiny private non-profit company contracted by local cities to provide transportation services to their disabled citizens. They have some vans that drive people around. It also seems strange that their web site seems to be obsessed with terrorism security levels. Something ain’t right.
The real police can’t seem to find the two "homeland security" officers that showed up in Malibu. It also seems strange that a private company claims to have their own police and anti-terror taskforce. Or how does a Swedish citizen with felony convictions become ‘Deputy Commissioner’ of a law enforcement anti-terrorism unit in California?
I can’t wait for the police and the LA Times to get to the bottom of this story!
I think the whole thing is a scam designed to fleece the America taxpayers out of millions of dollars. They set up a phoney “transit authority”. They then set up a phoney police and security department. They then apply for federal funds to equip that department with the security equipment, staff, and resources needed to meet the new standards that the real Dept of Homeland Security has issued for public transportation to meet when the official threat level reaches high levels. The TSA is giving out $15 million grants to bus companies for security. That is a tempting target, no?
The LA Times has been tracking this story, which I too been reading. I now think that a single car traffic accident in Malibu a few days ago has blown the lid off a huge scam ripping off the US tax payers.
The SGVTA Contraversy
This is one part of a series of posts about The San Gabriel Valley Transit AuthorityIt started out a week and a half ago as simply an unusual traffic accident. A rare Ferrari, worth almost a million dollars, crashed into a light pole along the Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu and was totalled. It was reported that the Ferrari was speeding, doing 120 mph, and lost control. No one was injured. You think that would be the end of story. Some idiot with more money than brains in Malibu wrecks his million dollar car. That it when things get weird.
The only person the police found was a 44 year old Swedish millionaire, Stefan Eriksson, with a cut lip. Eriksson lives in the super-rich LA suburb of Bel-Air. He made his money with video games, specifically racing games. Eriksson claims that he was just the passenger. He claims that the driver was some German guy who he only knew as "Dietrich". After the accident "Dietrich" ran off up into the hills of Malibu and never found, despite a 3 hour search by police.
Needless to say, the police are not buying it. Eriksson blew a .09 blood-alcohol level, which is fine if he was a passenger. It would be a DUI of he was driving. So, now we have a name and face for the idiot with more money than brains. And this idiot is trying to avoid a DUI by making up some story about a fake driver. Interesting.
It gets weirder.
It turns out the police can't tell who owns the Ferrari. It was imported from Europe and was not even legal to drive in California. In addition, the police found at Mercedes SLR in Eriksson's home that is listed as being stolen, by Mr Eriksson, in London. A Scottish bank contacted the LA Sheriff's department claiming that they own the Ferrari (and were probably wondering where it was). Also, Mr. Eriksson has a felony conviction back in Sweden where he served prison time for counterfeiting. He recently resigned as a top executive of a failed game company called Gizmondo.
So... now we have a convicted felon, dot.com millionaire, and apparent fraudster, who plays fast and loose. The guy has balls. Despite everything, he still manages to somehow live the high life… fast exotic cars, a mansion in Bel-Air, multi-million dollar business deals, world travel. Wow!
It gets even weirder...
The story takes a strange twist with the involvement of a tiny public transport agency that gives rides to paraplegics in the San Gabriel Valley. The San Gabriel Valley is a cluster of small bedroom communities north east of Los Angeles. Pasadena, home of JPL, CalTech, and the Rose Bowl, is the best known city in the valley.
It turns out that shortly after the crash, two men showed up at the accident site and identified themselves to the police "homeland security" officers from a small San Gabriel Valley transit authority. Stefan Eriksson told investigators that he himself was ‘Deputy Commissioner’ of the San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority police department's antiterrorism unit.
Huh? The tiny little SGVTA has its own police department? And that department even has it own anti-terrorism unit? All of this was news to the cities and the law-enforcement departments in the San Gabriel Valley. The SGVTA web site claims that their police department has a chief, detectives, marked police cruisers and an "antiterrorism" division. It also claims that they hired a new police chief, one Philip J. Sugar, who has years of experience with the LAPD and the Los Angeles City Attorney’s Office. They say “Chief Sugar takes over at a time when mass transit is faced with perhaps its greatest challenges ever - - the post 911 era…”.
Gee. A simple check of the SGVTA own web site shows that it is nothing but a tiny private non-profit company contracted by local cities to provide transportation services to their disabled citizens. They have some vans that drive people around. It also seems strange that their web site seems to be obsessed with terrorism security levels. Something ain’t right.
The real police can’t seem to find the two "homeland security" officers that showed up in Malibu. It also seems strange that a private company claims to have their own police and anti-terror taskforce. Or how does a Swedish citizen with felony convictions become ‘Deputy Commissioner’ of a law enforcement anti-terrorism unit in California?
I can’t wait for the police and the LA Times to get to the bottom of this story!
I think the whole thing is a scam designed to fleece the America taxpayers out of millions of dollars. They set up a phoney “transit authority”. They then set up a phoney police and security department. They then apply for federal funds to equip that department with the security equipment, staff, and resources needed to meet the new standards that the real Dept of Homeland Security has issued for public transportation to meet when the official threat level reaches high levels. The TSA is giving out $15 million grants to bus companies for security. That is a tempting target, no?
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Am I soon to be homeless, again?
My work contract here in Perth expires at the end of March. Unless IBM Australia decides to pick me up again, then I loose my visa and have to leave the country. I don't have to go back to the US, but I would have to leave Australia. So this has me wondering what will happen in the next few weeks.
I suppose the worse case is that I will end up homeless again for a while. I no longer have anything back in the US. No car. No home. No job. If I catch a flight back to LAX, then I will have to walk out with only my laptop, bicycle, and a suitcase.
I have been given offers of short term places to stay. My friends in Santa Barbara said I can crash in their guest apartment. My sister in San Diego said I can crash at her house. But they have 3 kids and pets. My friend Martha said I could stay a little while in Tampa. I suppose my mom would let me crash at her house in Tucson if I really needed it. I haven't asked. And I would be mortified to do so.
But honestly, I don't wanna be a burden on anyone. I'm an adult. I should be able to take care of myself. I've been toying with some ideas. But pretty much everything involves money I can't afford to spend right now. I won't be able to rent any place until I find a job. And after that, I will probable have trouble because my credit still has some bad stuff on it left over from the divorce.
Back in 2000-2001 I was quasi-homeless. I mastered the art of "urban-camping". I was working in Los Angeles and my home with my estranged ex-wife in it was in Santa Barbara. In the best of circumstances, the drive between work and home was two hours. In traffic, three, possibly even four hours. I could not see myself working 10 hours a day, then spending 4 to 7 hours driving. The fuel expenses, the wear and tear on my vehicle, and the demands on my body and mind, would have killed me.
I considered renting a tiny place near work where I could crash. I couldn't find anything for less than $600 a month. That was too much money. I could not afford that. I considered renting a cheap motel room (like Motel 6) a few nights a week. But even that gets expensive. After all the taxes, a $50 a night room comes to $80. Plus the hassle of checking in and out. I also found that the cheap rooms had hard and uncomfortable beds, faulty plumbing, noisy neighbors, and they smell like stale cigars.
I owned a 12 year old pickup truck. So I bought a shell top for the bed. I put a camping air mattress in the back, a sleeping bag, pillow, and blanket, which gave me a place to sleep. I had a suitcase with my clothes in it. That is all I needed.
I also had a gym membership that was only $60 a month. This got me access to some nice gyms around California. That gave me a place to shower in the morning. So I reckoned that I was saving some serious money by sleeping in the back of my truck at night during the week. I would only need to drive home on the weekends.
It worked out fine. I found that I preferred to sleep in my own sleeping bag and pillow rather than a dodgy motel bed. I made sure that I kept the truck clean and tidy so that it would not stand out. The windows on the side of the shell were smoked, so people could not see in. If they pressed their faces against the window, they could not really make out that someone was sleeping inside.
The only things that would give me away were (a) my snoring, (b) someone seeing me crawl in or out of the back. I scouted out 6 quiet and semi-private places to park not to far from work. I would then rotate a different spot every night as to not get the neighbors suspectious. I would make sure that no one would see me crawl in or out of the back. I preferred to park in the parking lot of the gym that I would use in the morning. That way I could fall out at 5am and walk in when the doors opened.
Most nights were peaceful in West LA A few times a security guard would get very curious and start nosing around. One night I was backed up to a wall, and some punk jumped off the wall on to the roof of the truck. He was running away from something.
I would never drink any fluids past 8pm. That way I would not have to wake up in the middle of the night to pee. However, I anticipated that there might be an occasion where I had to go. So I stored a big bottle in the back as an emergency piss jar. Being the brilliant guy I am, I put some thought into the piss jar. I figured that if I had to use it, it might be a few hours before I could dispose of it, and it might smell. So I decided to be pro-active. I poured a little bit of bleach into the jar and kept it there. I figured that the beach will help manage the urine smell for a while.
Well one night it happened. I had to pee. Ah ha! I had planned for this emergency. So I stood on my knees in the back of the truck, removed the lid from the top of the emergency jar, unzipped my pants, stuck my penis into the jar opening, and let it go. So far. So good.
All of sudden I heard this strange hissing sound from the jar. The urine in the jar starting to boil. The sides of the jar got hot in my hands. Then a noxious cloud of gas came up and started burning my lungs and eyes. The jar, which was heavy plastic, started to melt. I couldn't breath, and I felt like my lungs were on fire.
I kicked open the back of the truck and fell out, gasping for air, blind, and with my penis hanging out of my pants, rudely interrupted in the middle of a piss. I am so glad that there was no one around at the particular time. I am even more glad that I didn't die then and there in the back of the truck. Can you imagine the police report? Middle age man found dead in the back of his pickup truck from mysterious causes with his dick hanging out of his pants.
I thought about what I did wrong and it hit me. I was such an idiot! What is in bleach? Chlorine. What is sometimes found in urine? Ammonia. There must have ben enough ammonia in my urine to trigger a chemical reaction with the chlorine in the bleach. You know what happens when you mix chlorine and ammonia, right? Bad stuff. It is lethal.
Lesson learned. Never piss into a bottle of bleach.
So getting back to my predicament. If I end up back in the US with no job, money, home, etc. I will see if I can scrape up enough to buy a pickup truck with a shell, and a Gold's Gym membership. I think that I will be able to survive until I get back on my feet again.
And my emergency piss bottle will have dish soap in it.
I suppose the worse case is that I will end up homeless again for a while. I no longer have anything back in the US. No car. No home. No job. If I catch a flight back to LAX, then I will have to walk out with only my laptop, bicycle, and a suitcase.
I have been given offers of short term places to stay. My friends in Santa Barbara said I can crash in their guest apartment. My sister in San Diego said I can crash at her house. But they have 3 kids and pets. My friend Martha said I could stay a little while in Tampa. I suppose my mom would let me crash at her house in Tucson if I really needed it. I haven't asked. And I would be mortified to do so.
But honestly, I don't wanna be a burden on anyone. I'm an adult. I should be able to take care of myself. I've been toying with some ideas. But pretty much everything involves money I can't afford to spend right now. I won't be able to rent any place until I find a job. And after that, I will probable have trouble because my credit still has some bad stuff on it left over from the divorce.
Back in 2000-2001 I was quasi-homeless. I mastered the art of "urban-camping". I was working in Los Angeles and my home with my estranged ex-wife in it was in Santa Barbara. In the best of circumstances, the drive between work and home was two hours. In traffic, three, possibly even four hours. I could not see myself working 10 hours a day, then spending 4 to 7 hours driving. The fuel expenses, the wear and tear on my vehicle, and the demands on my body and mind, would have killed me.
I considered renting a tiny place near work where I could crash. I couldn't find anything for less than $600 a month. That was too much money. I could not afford that. I considered renting a cheap motel room (like Motel 6) a few nights a week. But even that gets expensive. After all the taxes, a $50 a night room comes to $80. Plus the hassle of checking in and out. I also found that the cheap rooms had hard and uncomfortable beds, faulty plumbing, noisy neighbors, and they smell like stale cigars.
I owned a 12 year old pickup truck. So I bought a shell top for the bed. I put a camping air mattress in the back, a sleeping bag, pillow, and blanket, which gave me a place to sleep. I had a suitcase with my clothes in it. That is all I needed.
I also had a gym membership that was only $60 a month. This got me access to some nice gyms around California. That gave me a place to shower in the morning. So I reckoned that I was saving some serious money by sleeping in the back of my truck at night during the week. I would only need to drive home on the weekends.
It worked out fine. I found that I preferred to sleep in my own sleeping bag and pillow rather than a dodgy motel bed. I made sure that I kept the truck clean and tidy so that it would not stand out. The windows on the side of the shell were smoked, so people could not see in. If they pressed their faces against the window, they could not really make out that someone was sleeping inside.
The only things that would give me away were (a) my snoring, (b) someone seeing me crawl in or out of the back. I scouted out 6 quiet and semi-private places to park not to far from work. I would then rotate a different spot every night as to not get the neighbors suspectious. I would make sure that no one would see me crawl in or out of the back. I preferred to park in the parking lot of the gym that I would use in the morning. That way I could fall out at 5am and walk in when the doors opened.
Most nights were peaceful in West LA A few times a security guard would get very curious and start nosing around. One night I was backed up to a wall, and some punk jumped off the wall on to the roof of the truck. He was running away from something.
I would never drink any fluids past 8pm. That way I would not have to wake up in the middle of the night to pee. However, I anticipated that there might be an occasion where I had to go. So I stored a big bottle in the back as an emergency piss jar. Being the brilliant guy I am, I put some thought into the piss jar. I figured that if I had to use it, it might be a few hours before I could dispose of it, and it might smell. So I decided to be pro-active. I poured a little bit of bleach into the jar and kept it there. I figured that the beach will help manage the urine smell for a while.
Well one night it happened. I had to pee. Ah ha! I had planned for this emergency. So I stood on my knees in the back of the truck, removed the lid from the top of the emergency jar, unzipped my pants, stuck my penis into the jar opening, and let it go. So far. So good.
All of sudden I heard this strange hissing sound from the jar. The urine in the jar starting to boil. The sides of the jar got hot in my hands. Then a noxious cloud of gas came up and started burning my lungs and eyes. The jar, which was heavy plastic, started to melt. I couldn't breath, and I felt like my lungs were on fire.
I kicked open the back of the truck and fell out, gasping for air, blind, and with my penis hanging out of my pants, rudely interrupted in the middle of a piss. I am so glad that there was no one around at the particular time. I am even more glad that I didn't die then and there in the back of the truck. Can you imagine the police report? Middle age man found dead in the back of his pickup truck from mysterious causes with his dick hanging out of his pants.
I thought about what I did wrong and it hit me. I was such an idiot! What is in bleach? Chlorine. What is sometimes found in urine? Ammonia. There must have ben enough ammonia in my urine to trigger a chemical reaction with the chlorine in the bleach. You know what happens when you mix chlorine and ammonia, right? Bad stuff. It is lethal.
Lesson learned. Never piss into a bottle of bleach.
So getting back to my predicament. If I end up back in the US with no job, money, home, etc. I will see if I can scrape up enough to buy a pickup truck with a shell, and a Gold's Gym membership. I think that I will be able to survive until I get back on my feet again.
And my emergency piss bottle will have dish soap in it.
Busted?
Well guys... we are busted. The women of the world have deployed a new weapon in the war of the sexes. Our two-timing cheating days are numbered.
They now have a dating equivilant of a credit report on a online database website named "Don't Date Him Girl". I noticed that there is no way for the man to dispute the "facts", or demand that his entry be removed.
However, I suspect that this web site could be in violation of US Federal law. Specifically, the Fair Credit Reporting Act. These are the same laws that regulate the national credit bureaus. Based on my reading of the FCRA, they fall under its juristiction. If that is true, then they can be held liable for not meeting dispute and data accuracy standards.
Also, I would think that a contributer and possibly the site owners could be sued for slander. Interesting idea. I don't think that I would risk my neck to create such a site.
By the way... I'm not on the database. I looked.
They now have a dating equivilant of a credit report on a online database website named "Don't Date Him Girl". I noticed that there is no way for the man to dispute the "facts", or demand that his entry be removed.
However, I suspect that this web site could be in violation of US Federal law. Specifically, the Fair Credit Reporting Act. These are the same laws that regulate the national credit bureaus. Based on my reading of the FCRA, they fall under its juristiction. If that is true, then they can be held liable for not meeting dispute and data accuracy standards.
Also, I would think that a contributer and possibly the site owners could be sued for slander. Interesting idea. I don't think that I would risk my neck to create such a site.
By the way... I'm not on the database. I looked.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Another travel tip from me!
When I was writing about the fake muggers wallet in the previous post, I remembered another travel tip that I would like to pass on.
If you are traveling outside of the US, especially in Mexico, carry two drivers licenses with you. What you do is "loose" your current license. Tell the DMV that your wallet was lost or stolen and that you need a placement license. Keep the old license in a safe place for travel purposes.
When you get pulled over by the police in Mexico for a shakedown (this has happened to me), the first thing they do is confiscate your drivers license. Then you have to pay them to get it back. Just give them the cancelled license. The dates on it will still be good, and there is nothing on it do indicate that it was cancelled and replaced. The only way they will be able to tell is to call the DMV and check.
So if your bribe negotiations fails and you have to flee, at least you can get back in to the US.
You can do the same thing with your passport. But I have not done that.
If you are traveling outside of the US, especially in Mexico, carry two drivers licenses with you. What you do is "loose" your current license. Tell the DMV that your wallet was lost or stolen and that you need a placement license. Keep the old license in a safe place for travel purposes.
When you get pulled over by the police in Mexico for a shakedown (this has happened to me), the first thing they do is confiscate your drivers license. Then you have to pay them to get it back. Just give them the cancelled license. The dates on it will still be good, and there is nothing on it do indicate that it was cancelled and replaced. The only way they will be able to tell is to call the DMV and check.
So if your bribe negotiations fails and you have to flee, at least you can get back in to the US.
You can do the same thing with your passport. But I have not done that.
American Express Platinum Card
Hmmmm.... American Express send me a Platinum card in the mail today. I didn't ask them for it. I've had their Gold card since, like forever. And I have been satisfied with it. So I was a bit taken back when this fancy silverish package arrived at my box and an Amex Platinum card fell out.
Or so I thought.
A closer look reveals that the name embossed on it is "Your Name Here". It turns out that the whole thing was only an invite to apply for their Platinum card. They had stuck a fancy brochure in the package that reminds me of those glossy brochures that Mercedes-Benz and BMW print up for their luxury cars.
I was at lunch, so I decided what the hell. I will read their marketing fluff. Lots of cool photos and text kissing my ass telling me what a powerful, decisive, refined, and special person I am. I deserve this card because I stand head and shoulders above the suffering masses.
Ignoring the ass kissing, they are a bit short on details. I could not find exactly what I get, or what makes this so special, or what it costs. They elude to vague benefits such as...
Last minute reservations to top restaurants. Huh? This in Ron they are talking to. I don't even like going to restaurants that make you wear shoes! I also refuse to go to restaurants that require reservations or "connections". If they don't have enough seats to meet public demand, then I will take my business elsewhere.
Exclusive Offers For Some Of The Most Unforgettable Places To Stay On Earth. Notice they don't say "pleasant places". How could I forget a night in the slammer in San Francisco? Or sleeping on the Denver Airport floor during a blizzard?
A service dedicated to smoothing your path and satisfying your every wish. What the hell does that mean? Can I call them up and order a hooker and hitman?
Fly first or business class with a companion and get substantial savings. What? Buy two first class tickets? You know what the dirty little secret about flying first class is? I'll tell you. You pay four times as much, but YOU STILL GET THERE AT THE SAME TIME AS EVERYONE ELSE DOES! How about if I just keep that extra money in my pocket, eh?
Travel Service: So how is this better than the travel agent down the street?
Enjoy upgrades and exclusive benefits at over 800 hotels world wide. Only 800? That really isn't a lot of hotels when you consider how many cities there are in the world. So... are they saying that Motel Six will give me free roll-away for a night? Whoo Hooo!
Buried on the back, I found the price for all of this. $900!!!! Yes, $900 to carry a credit card in your wallet. Holy shit! Are they out of their friggen minds?
But this is not all a loss. I am going to put this fake Amex card into my mugger's wallet along with the fake drivers license and other phoney ID. My muggers wallet is a cheap throw-away wallet that I keep on me when I am walking through dodgy areas of cities. If I get mugged, I simply toss them the fake wallet. By the time they figure out it is worthless, I am gone.
Note: You have to put a little real cash in the fake wallet. That will distract them long enough to not notice anything odd before you get away.
Or so I thought.
A closer look reveals that the name embossed on it is "Your Name Here". It turns out that the whole thing was only an invite to apply for their Platinum card. They had stuck a fancy brochure in the package that reminds me of those glossy brochures that Mercedes-Benz and BMW print up for their luxury cars.
I was at lunch, so I decided what the hell. I will read their marketing fluff. Lots of cool photos and text kissing my ass telling me what a powerful, decisive, refined, and special person I am. I deserve this card because I stand head and shoulders above the suffering masses.
Ignoring the ass kissing, they are a bit short on details. I could not find exactly what I get, or what makes this so special, or what it costs. They elude to vague benefits such as...
Last minute reservations to top restaurants. Huh? This in Ron they are talking to. I don't even like going to restaurants that make you wear shoes! I also refuse to go to restaurants that require reservations or "connections". If they don't have enough seats to meet public demand, then I will take my business elsewhere.
Exclusive Offers For Some Of The Most Unforgettable Places To Stay On Earth. Notice they don't say "pleasant places". How could I forget a night in the slammer in San Francisco? Or sleeping on the Denver Airport floor during a blizzard?
A service dedicated to smoothing your path and satisfying your every wish. What the hell does that mean? Can I call them up and order a hooker and hitman?
Fly first or business class with a companion and get substantial savings. What? Buy two first class tickets? You know what the dirty little secret about flying first class is? I'll tell you. You pay four times as much, but YOU STILL GET THERE AT THE SAME TIME AS EVERYONE ELSE DOES! How about if I just keep that extra money in my pocket, eh?
Travel Service: So how is this better than the travel agent down the street?
Enjoy upgrades and exclusive benefits at over 800 hotels world wide. Only 800? That really isn't a lot of hotels when you consider how many cities there are in the world. So... are they saying that Motel Six will give me free roll-away for a night? Whoo Hooo!
Buried on the back, I found the price for all of this. $900!!!! Yes, $900 to carry a credit card in your wallet. Holy shit! Are they out of their friggen minds?
But this is not all a loss. I am going to put this fake Amex card into my mugger's wallet along with the fake drivers license and other phoney ID. My muggers wallet is a cheap throw-away wallet that I keep on me when I am walking through dodgy areas of cities. If I get mugged, I simply toss them the fake wallet. By the time they figure out it is worthless, I am gone.
Note: You have to put a little real cash in the fake wallet. That will distract them long enough to not notice anything odd before you get away.
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